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Why some are able to move on so quickly

Because they already did their grieving while they were dating you.


Nobody who's in a loving committed relationship wakes up with the thought of leaving someone on Monday, and then follows through with it on the coming Thursday.

It takes time. When leaving someone first enters their mind, they push it away. They feel guilty for even having the inkling of that. They're with an amazing person, they should feel lucky! In an effort to get rid of those thoughts, they redouble their effort in the relationship. They initiate sex more, they get you a bunch of little gifts, they start planning trips. Anything to rekindle the spark they once had.

But the feeling doesn't go away.

So they start googling help at work. They keep hoping that what they're feeling is just due to stress of some new situation in their life. But nothing is helping. And that thought isn't going away.

So they confide in a close friend. They go out for drinks, and after weeks or even months of not daring to say out loud what they've been thinking, they blurt out their darkest thoughts. And what they get back from their friends is consideration and understanding. They're there for them. They want what's best for them.

After a couple of weeks of talking it over with their friends and family, they finally make the decision to that they're going to end things. But that's going to be so hard! How are they supposed to move on from this? How are they supposed to live life without this other person by their side?

So they get really sad and despondent. You recognize that something is wrong, and attempt to console them. You start doing all these extra nice things for them, because you can tell something is wrong, but you don't know what. They cry in your arms constantly. They want to tell you their feelings, but they're afraid of you lashing out.

So they just remain in the relationship, miserable, and sad, and wondering how much longer it's going to take before they finally actually commit to ending it.

And then one afternoon, after much support and insistence from their family and friends, they sit you down and tell you that it's over.

And that's why when you ask to talk about it, they refuse.

That's why all your texts go unanswered.

That's why they appear to be so cold.

That's why weeks after you break up, they're on instagram and facebook having a great time with their friends.

That's why a couple months after you break up, they're able to start seeing someone.

Because they've already done the grieving part. Everything that you're going through right now, they've already been through it. Only they were able to use your love to help get through it.

It's not that they were able to move on so quick. It's just that they had a super head start on the grieving process.


P.S :  This is one of the most truthful wisdom I've got while on a shower . 

As the dumpee, it is very easy for people to mentally mould an ex into a horrible person. You convince yourself that they’re the devil, because it’s much easier to believe than the simple fact that they just didn’t want to be with you any more.

More often than not, your ex still cared, your ex was extremely crushed, your ex felt terrible for how they felt and your ex even today, probably still cares. 

Comments

  1. Damn , this is just beautiful and soul crushing at the same time.

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